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Jan
23
2012

How to have a clean fight

in Life Lessons, Random Musings

Photo by mistereels on www.sxc.hu

Based on controversy in my school district, I have been reminded that people simply don’t know how to fight well. I don’t mean they can’t throw punches, but they just can’t get anywhere with them. People do not (or cannot) articulate their concerns so they instead throw out bitter slurs.

The complete lack of tact being shown by my friends and neighbors has raised concern in me because, if we as adults cannot show some self control, how can we expect any more from our kids?

In come the three rules of clean fighting as stated in the Richardson household.

1. Keep it on the what and not the who. No matter what the problem is, the problem is probably NOT a person. It may be what a person said, how a person acted, or what a person did, but it is not the person him/herself. No person is completely bad.

2. No name calling. Because of Point #1, refrain from name-calling. Whenever we label anyone with any specific name, you have a chance of hurting their feelings for much longer than the fight is going on. Words cut deeper than hand-to-hand combat.

3. If you are too immature to do either of the above, take off your clothes and fight naked. If you can be slanderous while in the buff, more power to you. When you see others pointing and laughing, don’t take it personally. They are not talking about YOU, they are talking about your body and they aren’t calling you names, they are speaking to your imperfections. Even if this doesn’t fix the problem, it sure keeps the issue in perspective.


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