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Aug
16
2013

Storm warnings in marriage

in Life Lessons, Random Musings, Romance

storm

Photo by michalina on www.sxc.hu

A couple of days ago I was stopped at a red light and I could see the rain on the other side of the intersection. The cars faced me, windshield wipers in motion, and yet my truck was completely dry. As I watched I smiled. In middle of yet another Texas drought, I looked forward to the pitter patter of the drops on my roof. When the light turned green, I entered the invisible wall that separated the dry from the wet, and I wondered what it would be like to foresee all of life’s storms like that.

 

Storms of marriage

Over the last few years, my husband and I have seen the divorce of several couples that we once thought were solid. Occasionally we will be blessed with an open conversation with such a couple so we can ask the burning question, “what happened?” We don’t ask to be nosey but more of a protection of our own marriage. We wonder if there is some unforeseen storm out there that we need to prepare for.

But what if?

What if we could foresee the storm coming? What if we could sit at life’s red light and see what is waiting for us just a couple of feet ahead? What if we could choose to take a U-turn at that precise second in order to avoid the devastation ahead?

If you knew that flashing the new boy in the office a smile just a half a second too long would eventually lead to an affair, it would be easy not to do that. If you knew that the biggest longing in your husband’s heart was for someone to actually listen to him, you’d be quiet and listen.

As I thought about that what if, it hit me… If we could see the storm coming, we’d try to tweak the one (or two) small things that would work as a temporary fix for a much larger problem. What we really need to focus on is the entirety of the marriage. If the core is healthy, the obstacles are easier to overcome.

My belief

I think the best thing I can do for my marriage is keep it stronger than any other relationship in my life. I can date my husband. I can listen to him. I can talk to him. I can make sure the romance stays alive and that he knows that he’s appreciated.

And I can thank him when he does the same for me.

I’m not crazy enough to think that my marriage is unbreakable. No marriage is completely unbreakable. The trick is to keep strengthening it with time, energy, love, romance, and appreciation so that the barrier that stands between us and the storms of life grows thicker and thicker.

What about you?

What do you think the key is to making marriage work? How do you tackle the storms that threaten it?


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