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Year in Review: Top 10 Facebook moments of 2011

in Parenting, Random Musings

Photo by mmagallan on

Thanks to Facebook rolling out yet another profile change, I spent the better part of yesterday going through a year’s worth of status updates. In doing that, I remembered highlights that had somehow gotten lost in the shuffle. Here are my Top 10 LOL status updates from 2011:

10. “Mommy, MOMMY come fast! Emergency!” my 3-year-old screamed from upstairs. I drop the laundry and run to discover him with his sister’s shampoo bottle. “Someone bwoked into our house and squished it Mommy. Squished it all over my fwoor and all over the cwoset and eviewhere. Umm-hmm. Somebody did it. But not me. Not me momma. Not me. Somebody else did it.”

9. K: “What does between mean?” Me: “Well, on a peanut butter sandwich the peanut butter is between two slices of bread.”  K: (Smacking hands together like cymbals) “So it mean smack dab in the middle!”   Me: “Yep.”   K: “Why don’t they just say smack dab in the middle instead of a complicated word like between?”

8. My 3-year-old’s leadership skills are coming out. He was talking and his siblings were ignoring him so he climbed up on the table and said “I’m biggest now. My turn or I’ll eat all your candy. Forever!”

7. Just gave the following advice to my crying 3-year-old: “Next time your brother hits you, hit him back… HARD.” He left the room laughing with an evil grin. Within 5 minutes, the 5-year-old came crying while rubbing his shoulder and said, “That wasn’t nice, Mom. Now who am I gonna hit?”

6. “Hey mom, watch. Watch this. Watch. Watch. Are you watching? Are you watching mom? Watch. Look. Look mom. Watch. Look and watch.” (Then he jumps. Once. Two inches in the air.) “Did you see that? Bam! That just happened. Wanna watch again?”

5. While at a friend’s house for a weekend get-together, one of the moms came in and asked: “Does your daughter usually climb onto the roof?” Assuming she meant the roof of the playhouse, I didn’t flinch. “No,” she said, “I mean the house HOUSE.” Sure enough, my 7-year-old was climbing up from the fence to the roof repeatedly to show the 3-year-olds how to do it.

4. I just grabbed my 3-year-old’s cheeks in my open palms and said, “I love you, Little Man. You are a good boy.” He laughed and said, “Well duh” and then farted and ran off. What sweet memories we are making.

3. What my 7-year-old has learned in school: “The world is round like a ball, not flat like paper. George Bush found that out. People thought he was crazy and the French Fries sent him just to laugh at him, but then he came all the way around the other side of the Milky Way and they had to believe him. Pretty cool, huh?”

2. At Papa Murphy just a couple of weeks ago, a gray-haired lady walked in and my 3-year-old said, “I’m free years old. How many are you?” Then my 6-year-old said, “she’s like a hundred and three. Am I right? How close am I?”

1. My 6-year-old’s version of a compliment: “Mom, you look almost as bootiful as a ninja turtle. Almost.”


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