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Jun
7
2013

Sex vs romance

in Romance

kissAs I write my first full-length romance novel, I have found myself exploring different author’s approaches to the genre. Some keep it middle school clean, but many have drawn the conclusion that sex and romance are one in the same. It’s a cultural problem, and it deserves being addressed.


What is romance?

Romance is about love and intimacy. Sex is about passion and instant gratification. The problem is that today’s culture seems to value sex more than they do romance. Let’s face it, romance is work and sex isn’t, and we live in a lazy, selfish culture. People are too busy, commitment-phobic, or down-right lazy to dedicate time to romance. Many people have simply given up on finding someone willing to work at romance and they’ve settled for something else entirely.

But is there anything more romantic than love at first sight?

I consider myself a romantic person, but I don’t believe in love at first sight. I believe that there can be a connection, an interest, or an attraction at first sight, but to call that love is to belittle the term. There can be lust at first sight… take any number of magazine models and TV advertisements for example… but true love runs deeper than the eyes.

Making romance last beyond the newness

My husband and I were in the same Kindergarten class. (Collective ‘ahhhh’ out of the way?) He moved in sixth grade and came back our senior year when he was tossed into the journalism class where I was the editor. He traveled with us to UIL competitions and  then invited him to the Sadie Hawkins Dance. He asked me to prom. Six months later we were engaged. We got married between junior college and transferring to Texas A&M University.

Three kids and sixteen years of marriage later, I can honestly say that we are still incredibly happy. We have a great relationship on every level and I truly am married to my best friend.

I think a big reason that we have been happy is because the romance has never died. It has changed in appearance (coming home to a clean kitchen is almost as romantic as a slow dance in the rain when you have three young kids!), but the romance is still very much alive and well.

A new series

This is my first in a series of articles I will write about love, romance, and intimacy. (What can I say, I’ve found a renewed interest in the subject since I start focusing on romantic fiction.) I’ll offer some tips on keeping love alive, stats on how relationships die, real life love stories, and even some behind-the-scenes glances at what women (and men!) want in a relationship. If you have any specific topics you’d like to see me cover, please leave a comment below or shoot me an email. I’d also love to hear your real-life romance stories if you’re willing to share.

Romance question #1

Each part of this series will include a question. Today’s question: What is the most romantic thing that someone else has done for you?

Thank you!

Thanks for stopping by! The offer of a free copy of Meet the Roberson Ladies still stands if you’d like to sign up for my newsletter list. You can also connect with me on Facebook and Twitter. While you’re here, feel free to check out some of my short fictions samples:


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